Car Lust

Cimarron, by Cadillac (1981-1988)

by That Car Guy (Chuck)

Look! Up in the sky! It's Sunbird! It's too plain! No, it's Cimarron! (Roll theme music)

On May 21, 1981, one of the biggest "You've got to be kidding me!" moves in automotive history was made when General Motors' Cadillac Division rolled out this generic economy car to an unenthusiastic, not-so gullible press corps and public. Expecting 75,000 sales that year, they sold 25,968. In 1988, the last year, they sold 6,454. The first two years, the Division was so ashamed of this thing that the original name was "Cimarron, by Cadillac", not Cadillac Cimarron, so that it would have been a Caddy by name only, which of course it was. It officially became the Cadillac Cimarron in 1983 after rightfully earning the nickname "Cadvalier". The unparalled overexpectations of Cadillac should have banished these product planners into the Forbidden Zone until they could have made a car worthy of the Cadillac crest.

This "Standard of the World" has to be automotive rebadging at its very worst, trying to become more Cadillacish from the other "J" cars (The Buick Skyhawk, Chevy Cavalier, Oldsmobile Firenza, and Pontiac J2000 [Later the Sunbird]) by adding more standard stuff, Cadillac badges, nicer seats, dressier door panels, and a shock absorber system to keep the drivetrain from dancing around inside the engine bay.

Obviously a reject from the planet Krapton, its mild-mannered approach to everything automotive included an anemic 88-horsepower 2.0-litre 4-cylinder engine with a 4-speed manual transmission standard. To further slow you down, a 3-speed slushbox cost extra (Extra?!?!). Cadillac had not offered a 4-cylinder since 1914, nor a clutch in over 30 years. The 120-horsepower 2.8-litre V-6 became available in 1985, then was made standard in 1987. Virtually identical to GM's other "J" cars, its Planet Bizarro pricing was roughly twice that of any of the other staggeringly-similar "J" cars that had the same equipment. During development,  Pete Estes, then-General Motors' president, had warned Ed Kennard, Cadillac general manager, that, "Ed, you don't have time to turn a "J" car into a Cadillac."

The poor little car got a freshening in 1983, but it was too little too late. Like the Fiero around that time, the car's reputation was set and it was doomed. Cadillac tried to tighten the suspension up to European standards, but who cared? The car eventually became such a standard of the world for "What NOT to do" that, according to Car and Driver, Cadillac product director John Howell had a picture of the Cimarron on a wall that said, "Lest we forget".

Only one time did I get to drive a Cimarron. We had some very nice neighbors that were in the auto recycling business who went to auto auctions frequently, and we never knew what they might bring home! The Mr. bought the Mrs. a light yellow Cimarron, and they were kind enough to let me take it for a spin. I said, "Nice!", and grinned as best as I could to not let them know that I knew what a farce this vehicle was. Other than soft, comfy seats, this thing had every grunt, groan, and yelp that a car costing half its price would have... hardly a Fortress of Solitude! The gauges looked very similar to a Chevette, the engine always sounded like it was in the next higher gear too soon, and it drove like a cheap, early-production front-wheel-drive car. Imagine that. Not enough power to pull a hat off of your head, very loosey-goosie steering, and brakes that required planning years ahead of time to be effective. Yes, it was a used car, but there was no feeling of quality in anything this car did.

The only thing faster than a speeding bullet on these cars was their depreciation. Perhaps customers who eventually sold or traded their Cimarrons, after leaving their cars (and investments) behind said, "Fool me once, shame on, shame on you, you fool me... can't get fooled again!".

--That Car Guy (Chuck)

The car at the top is a Cimarron; the lower one is a Cavalier. Thanks to David Colborne for finding the brochure image to match the Cavalier view!

Most of the information for this post came From Wikipedia and "HowStuffWorks: 'The Cadillac Cimarron' ". The Cimarron interior image came from CadillacOwners .com.

Ferrari 365 GTC4 (2+2)

by That Car Guy

This magnificent machine once belonged to a very dear late friend of mine, Mr. George Arents, III. Though somewhat obscure, the Arents family has a remarkable history. From Dutch descent, they came over to The New World on the second voyage of the Mayflower. The family owned the Richmond Hotel; the lobby was copied for the final scene in "Gone With The Wind".  George's dad accumulated great wealth, even starting American Machine and Foundry (AMF) just for fun. He invented cigarette and bread wrapping machines among other things. A rose is named after Mrs. Arents; George III came along in 1913. Their home in Westchester County, New York, "Hillbrook", shown here, had 52 acres of mowed lawn. They eventually gave it to the Catholic Church, as nobody could afford to buy, maintain, and pay the taxes on it. My understanding is that the house was disassembled in recent years; we found the front door assembly in Chicago a year ago. They wanted $135,000.00.  For the door.

George III, hereafter called George, was an accomplished sailplane and airplane pilot, and served in World War II. While flying over Europe, he had the chance to actually look down on a UFO. In George's typical understated manner, he looked at the co-pilot and said, "Well, they're here". He also loved to race cars, eventually winding up with the Ferrari team. His cars were blue with white striping, and George crashed in Pescara, Italy, spending months in hospitals and losing two inches of height. They named that curve after him. Later, George, Enzo Ferrari, and Luigi Chinetti would become business partners, bringing the street cars to America for sale. Chinetti Motors, in Greenwich, Connecticut, was just a few miles from Hillbrook. George also knew another racer around that time named Zora, who was working on a production fiberglass two-seater. Seems George made a suggestion to modify the car's rear suspension that Zora took to heart.

I met George in 1978 when he drove the then-blue GTC4 solo from "Beautiful Downtown Burbank" (Toluca Lake) to Franklin, Tennessee, roughly 2,000 miles, to see his friend, artist/painter Walter Bunn Gray (1935-2002), here on the left. George, on the right, was 65 at the time. I was the only one here priviledged to drive the car, stalling it at the first intersection of course, as the clutch effort was a beast! While here, the car sprung a slight gas leak from a tube entering one of the six 2-barrel Weber carburetors on the massive V-12 (Yes, it also has two oil filters), and George handed me the original-equipment Prancing Horse tool kit to fix the leak. I was flattered, of course. The car had THERE on the California "personalized" license plate, a reference to Gertrude Stein's "Everybody's Autobiography" quote, "There is no there there". Perhaps George had met her while crossing the Atlantic on the RMS Olympic, sister ship to Titanic, one of his favorites and a setting in one of his books, "The Brass Nightingale".

A few days later we took a second spin around the county, and I didn't stall it that time. George complimented my cornering, and the suede Recaro seats didn't hurt the driving feel at all. We got behind a school bus doing about 20 mph. I asked George what he would do in a situation like this; he said he would wait till the coast was clear, then kick it in the ass. Well, I did that. I swear, we went from 20 to 80 by the time we passed the bus. The kids on board will never forget the scream of the V-12 opening up, resonating off the side of the bus, and neither will I. Like Wyle E. Coyote on an ACME Rocket, first my arms went with the steering wheel, then body, followed by my head landing on the Recaro headrest. All in second gear. Holy Moly, that car was fast! But then, why should it not have been? That was the only time I pushed the car, and it satisfied my curiosity for the day. A then- 21-year-old was very happy.

About a year later, I flew to Los Angeles to spend some time with George. He met me at LAX in the car, which had now been painted "Mahogany", as the original blue was losing its lustre.  On the Hollywood Freeway, I opened a Coors (Which was still illegal in Tennessee, making it taste that much sweeter), and a bit spurted onto the suede dash. George just laughed, and said it was all right. I didn't get to drive the car in LA, but he gave me instead the house car... a 1-year-old Peugeot 604, (above), which smelled like a fine shoe store inside. Only after I arrived did I learn we were three blocks from Bob Hope's house.

I corresponded with George up to his death in 1992. He always said "80 is enough"; he passed at 79. All his letters are safe here, as well as the copies and precopies of books he was working on. He also gave me his Ferrari North American Racing Team (NART) badge off of one of his racing cars, forever a treasure of mine. I may have desecrated the badge when I screwed it onto the fake woodgrain dash of a Vega Kammback wagon I rebuilt, after I put a Vega GT dash in the car, but George saw the badge and smiled. I think he liked the gauges in the car as much as I did.

Now some tech stuff!  Only 505 365 GTC4s were ever made; 180 made it to America. There were 48 Ferrari colors used those years; I believe George's car was "Blue Chiaro Metallic" originally, but I'm not def on that.  Of course, Ferrari would custom color your car if you so desired. The 365 GTC4 had matte black bumpers and rear-end treatment, unique to the line at that time. Ten interior colors were offered; the car cost $27,500 in 1972. That  year, the Kammback listed for $2,700. Air conditioning was standard, and Connelly leather was an option (On the Ferrari, not the Vega Kammback LOL).

Powered by a 60-degree V-12 displacing 4390 cc (4.4 litres), we smog-reducing, smug-inducing Americans got 320 horsepower, the rest of the world got 340. The car has two distributors, each with two sets of points. Want an oil change? Buy two filters and 18 (That's right, 18) quarts of some really good oil. Need a tune-up?  I just saw where a guy paid $12,000 for that service. You have to take the carburetors off to set the valves, which is required every 15,000 miles, then put the carbs back on and set them. Ouch. Built on a welded tube steel frame chassis, this car shares many components with the Daytona and 246 GT Dino, also produced at the same time. But the 365 GTC4 had a back seat... sorta. Really too small to accept anything but luggage, a couple of folks twisted themselves back there when George was here, but the comment "Never again" was heard as well.

The 365 GTC4 is immotalized on The Cars' "Candy-O" album cover in outline by Vargas, no less, though it's a little hard to see under such, ahem, beautiful artwork. The side back windows, backlight, and roofline were copied from this car for the Chevy Monza/Buick Skyhawk/Nighthawk/Olds Starfire, etc. series. David Colborne's recent fine article on the Buick Nighthawk prompted me to write this post when I saw the familiar windows on the Nighthawk.

The last time I visited with George was summer, 1984, during the LA Olympics. His "toys" then, as he called them, were a 1938 Packard limousine and a brand new Rolls-Royce Silver Spirit motorcar, painted in his family's black and tan New York Yacht Club private colors... his way of subtly snubbing the SoCal locals LOL. He allowed me to drive both of them; I'll never forget cruising the Rolls down Hollywood Boulevard, a stark contrast to my country living here in Middle Tennessee.

I'm sorry the pictures of George's car aren't fresher... I took them in 1978 and 1979 on film, and took the image of "Hillbrook" in 1980, then copied the prints with a Nikon digital camera this week for the story. I have a wish to find and buy George's car, yet I don't have a good place to keep the Miata, much less something with this rich pedigree. But to just see his car again would be a treat. And to tell the present owner that George had owned it would be nice, too. Hopefully some day that dream will come true. Heck, maybe there is a there there!

--That Car Guy (Chuck)

Most of the tech info for this came from:  http://www.365gtc4.com/Home/default.aspx.

And thank you, George and Bunn, for many fantastic, unique memories. I'll never forget you two.

The Bes"T" Cars Ever Built

by That Car Guy (Chuck)

More magnificent than a mountain. Better built than a bikini model. Farther fleeting than the finest filly. The BES"T", yet least-appreciated American car of all time is, without question, the "T" Body Car.

In 1974, the then-largest automotive manufacturer in the world shopped its planetary fleet to find the origin for this piece of automotive wizardry. From its cradle, the "T" Car glamourizes the globe with unbelievable style, handling of such value it has never been matched or challenged, and performance light years beyond anything even to approach this lofty class. After groundbreaking research and development by other brands such as Isuzu, Holden, and Opel, and Vauxhall, earthly bonds were broken to bring this wonder to America. The finest stylists in the world were commissioned to fashion its timeless sculpture in sheet metal. Having been called "The Perfect Car for an Imperfect World", our presentation  of mobility magnificence reaches beyond mortal man to achieve a complete circumnavigational conveyance that few people will ever have the means or wherewithall affording an opportunity to experience or preserve.

Inside this titanic treasure is an interior crafted by and for the ages. Extinct species gave their best for the luxurious dash, door, headliner, and seating materials. Hand assembled from ferrous forms, the doors are strong enough to outlast any other vehicles' upholstery that even begin to call themselves the competition. All necessary driver information is prominently displayed ahead of the driver (Or chauffeur in most cases) and the steering wheel is set at the most prominent and correct position that mankind can offer. Any legally-decreed controls are not only within easy driver's reach, but have the finest grammatically correct inscriptions to please any ivy league profuser of The King's English. To allow the maximum comfort for the head of state or captain of industry who wishes not to command the vehicle on that particular day,all forward seating devices may be adjusted away from their presence.

Should the driven wish to access their compartment without the disturbance and self degradation of entering the forward servants' chamber, two additional portals are available, one on each side of the motorcar. We provide them for easy egress from the vehicle whenever arriving at Buckingham Palace, The White House, or your weekly table of bacarat. Despite whichever side of the road the common people drive on, you will arrive at your destination with the ability to exit your carriage in the most proper fashion. Usually operated by your manservant from the outside for your convenience, these pathways to your presentation can also be activated with the standard interior controls if that is the custom of the land. An exterior latch disabling device is within easy reach should the fans wish a piece of your jacket or your autograph after a busy day at the recording centre..

For those of us with a more sporting side, the "T" is available, after a reasonable waiting period for your custom coach to be crafted, as a coupee with uninhibited pedigree. Intended to be seen in while hunting with the hounds, soaking up the Steeplechase, or just running to the stable, your "T"offers a stance and level of performance normally not seen this side of LeMans. Its aggressiveness belies the others while not having to move an inch. Horsepower and other such Plebian definitions is not necessary in its operation. These amazing machines can travel many portals of petrol before requesting the slightest suggestion of maintenance. However, should you ever request assistance beyond that of the local garage variety, a fleet of corporate jets stands at your ready to ferry any technical assistance to your motorcarriage's side. You will be provided immediate transport to your intended meet with impunity, surrounded in the proper accustoms of your status.

If you have made it this far... "Happy April Fool's Day!"

--That Car Guy (Chuck)

The "T"-Body Cars: Chevrolet Chevette and Pontiac T1000

by That Car Guy (Chuck)

As you all very well know, General Motors and other car companies use an alphabet letter to denote a body style, usually used by two or more divisions. When the unreliability of the "H"-body Vega was decided, GM went looking globally to replace the Vega by rebadging a "T"-body from elsewhere in the world. First built in Brazil in 1974, the "T" car was eventually made as the Vauxhall Chevette, Opel Kadett, Isuzu Gemini, and Holden Gemini. It was also called the Pontiac Acadian in Canada. Briefy, it was made as a pickup truck, the Chevy 500! Launched by the Chevrolet Division in 1976 as the Chevette and in 1981 as Pontiac's T1000, this is a "love-it-or-hate-it" car if there has ever been one! I bought this then-new 1978 model for reliable transportation and easy campus parking, as well as something to remember my 21st birthday by. Originally available in America only as a 2-door, "Rally" and "Woody" packages were offered. A 4-door came along in 1978, and those two trim packages were dropped. All were hatchbacks. There was a station wagon that was never available here, but I think it would have been a hit at that time! In 1978, the Pinto and Monza wagons were still available and selling strong, even though their days were numbered.

The Chevette interior was, well, "sparse" at best. Vinyl seats were standard, the optional plaid cloth pattern here was both comfy and stylishly indicative of when Disco ruled the land. In fact, this was the first set of cloth seats I ever had, and they convinced me that they were the way to go, since vinyl or leather seats are hot in the summer, cold in the winter, and usually don't last as long. This was the standard interior, the upgraded digs were as scare as hens' teeth. All Chevettes had the exposed, hard, painted metal upper door edges to bang your arm on, a trait common to cheap cars and trucks. The one-piece plastic door panels were deceiving... at first they looked like stitched and padded panels, but any touch would find them almost as hard as the aforementioned door edges. The carpeting was nice enough, even covering the hatch load floor. The mini console was handy, but the dash was a disaster. Only one size radio was allowed, and DIN-sized choices were very limited in 1978; under-dash FM converters combined with the standard AM radio were the cheapest fix. How else could you hear "Funkytown" with no static? Gauges were also virtually non-existant. All "T" cars had the 85 mph speedometer, fuel gauge, and smaller holes for idiot lights and a place for a clock. There was an optional tachometer and volt gauge, but again, try to find this. Amazingly, on the 2-doors, the rear side windows were hinged and latched! So what was in the cabin seemed to be done fairly well. Squeaks and rattles were few except for the noisy, poorly fitted hatch area.

Driving the cars was fun, but not exciting. Very soon after getting the T1000, we put a set of Michelin radials on, and from then on, I looked forward to a certain set of "S" curves on the way to work each day, as the "T" was one of the first GM cars to have rack-and-pinion steering... basically the same unit that went into the "P"-body Pontiac Fiero. I have to say that the cars' traction in snow was amazing, especially considering they were real wheel drive. During "The Great Blizzard of 1978", I drove the first car with snow pounding the floor pan. The car made it up a steep driveway that a friend's Jeep would not conquer... with bias-ply tires, no less! (These are not typical results, your traction may vary.) Please don't adjust your sets, that's a black & white picture I took of an ice-encrusted hubcap on the '78 Chevette. Powered by a 1.6-litre I-4, they made all of 70 horsepower at the rear wheels. Power steering and power brakes just weren't needed, as the cars were light enough to steer and stop easy.

In 1979, the Chevette received a front end freshening that would last till the end of production in 1987, including a new hood, rectangular headlights, and a chrome grille. 1980, the beginning of the Al Franken Decade, brought new rear quarter panels, hatch, and a tail light change, very attractive for the time. In fact, I'm going to say it here... the lines were quite similar to the first generation VW Scirocco, and neither was a bad looking car back then. As mentioned, in 1981 the Pontiac version was released, "Gussying up" the Chevette by using Pontiac badges, a dark painted grille, lowered body side mouldings, and the Chevette's "Custom Exterior" option of extra bright side window trim with matte (satin) black painted accents. The pinstripes on the silver car were my doin'. In 1982, a much-improved hard cloth-covered headliner was used.

Yes, we owned three of the cars cars shown here. For years we lived frugally, and have seen some payoffs lately by doing so. The two-tone 4-door here belonged to my mother; she drove the car for years, even with a peculiar shudder in the drivetrain. Between 25 and 35 mph, the car had a strange vibration, probably in the driveshaft. We never had it fixed because it was not chronic, and we didn't want to put a penny more into the car than we had to... we just lived with it. Hers was a 3-speed automatic, both of mine had 4-speed manuals. All three cars had air conditioning; the heaters worked all right, except there wasn't a bi-level vent and floor setting... it was either one or the other. So your tootsies froze while your upper body and face were warm or visa-versa, unless you fiddled with the air flow controls every few minutes. But at least her car had rear doors! Getting in and out of any 2-door coupe is tough; try it in one of these microbes. I have avoided owning any 2-door car that has a back seat since I owned a Chevette - even my last pickup truck has four full-sized doors.

OK, that's the good news. So, how could a car that was the best selling car in America in 1979 and 1980 take such a fall from grace? Simple... in America, GM did virtually NOTHING to improve or update this car like the Europeans (A Vauxhall Chevette is shown here), and the competition simply overran it. The "T" was hardly cutting-edge when it was new! Other than relocating nameplates, body-coloring bumpers, and adding the mandatory Central High-Mounted Stop Light (CHMSL) 3rd brake light, almost nothing was done. In 1984, Pontiac dropped the "T" and simply called the car the "1000". Also, dealers carried only poorly-equipped models on their lots... goodies like a 5-speed, tilt, remote control mirror, intermittent wipers, rear defroster, rear wiper, roof rack, nicer interior packages, AM/FM radio, and better wheels were available, but have you ever seen them? If you got air conditioning, tinted glass, and a radio, feel lucky! Had Chevy and Pontiac used the items already available in their parts bin to upgrade the cars instead of hiding the fancy pieces from the public as well as updating the cabin, these little cars would surely have gained more respect in the market. But, sadly, their strategy of chopping the price in 1987 to $4,995 to compete with the Hyundai Excel and Yugo GV only placed the "T" cars lower on the automotive food chain.

Then there was the Chevette Scooter. As if the regular Chevette wasn't spartan enough, GM decided to take off all of the exterior trim, cheaply paint the bumpers, limit colors and equipment, remove the glove box door, use unbelievably flat interior door trim, install vinyl flooring and vinyl hatch floor covers, and remove any plastic chrome from the dash. Mechanically they were the same, but many options were not available. In 1976, the first year, a back seat was optional. *Sigh*, what were they thinking? Has a more plain-looking car ever been offered? Sure, it was a low-price loss leader, and Chevrolet thankfully dropped the Scooter in the 1984 model year.

Quality was another issue. I really enjoyed and occasionally miss the little brown car... enough that its memories prompted me to buy a T1000 as soon as they came out. What a mistake! From poor assembly and bad materials to criminally stupid dealer service, this is the car I've most regretted owning in my life! Almost immediately after getting the car, I had to go to a dealer and receive a fender badge the factory forgot to put on - my first recall! There was not enough material in the headliner to fold over and finish itself. The dealer scratched the driver's inner door panel, then repaired it by painting the hard moulded burgandy plastic which, of course, immediately flaked off. The carpet had a flaw, so they replaced it... the new rug was installed crooked, and they did not reconnect the hand brake lever when they handed it back to me. A strange dent appeared in the hood while at the dealer like somebody had... sat on it. The passenger's door had a wind noise, so the idiot at the dealer rolled down the window, put his knee inside the door, pulled the window frame in a bit thus cracking the paint, and left a dent in the door where his knee was. The list goes on... Maybe the increase in production volume between 1978 and 1981 was why the second car was not as good as the first. Just spit 'em out, and we'll fix 'em later. *Sigh* again.

So, in my usually worthless opinion, with more standard equipment and a new interior, a "T" car could have been almost fun to own, maybe even springing a cult following. It drove well, was good on gas, and sold as cheap as it got. But with the car not being offered with frills and dealers treating you and the cars like unwanted stepchildren, it seems like an automotive opportunity was wasted here.

A mountain climber! Parked at Newfound Gap in The Great Smoky Mountains National Park at the Tennessee/North Carolina border, my little brown car with skis still had the stickers in the window if you look closely:  -------}

That is a 1976 or 77 model beside me.

Sorry about the multitude of pictures here, but these things came in a lot of different varieties!

--That Car Guy (Chuck)

Here's a link to some Australian Holden Geminis, aka Chevettes, from Down Under: http://www.chevettes.com/gallery.php?section=au -It's amazing what's both familiar and foreign to these cars!

Wikipedia supplied the European Vauxhall Chevette photo.

The Scooter and 1976 Woody are from The Chevette Photo Gallery.

The Bobby Darin Dream Car (1960 DiDia 150)

by That Car Guy

I was startled when I saw this thing. It took me back to "The Simpsons", where Homer designed a car called... The Homer. Stuck somewhere between a 1950s show car and TV's Batmobile, here sat something that Elvis and Liberace would have probably ran away from. Brash metallic red paint (Originally 30 coats with real ground diamonds for sparkle), tail fins befitting a 747, and a glass cockpit that no air conditioning system could ever cool, the boldness of the design is, well... totally unique.

We were recently at The Museum of Transportation in St. Louis, Missouri, on a very cold day. Having no idea what was in the Earl C. Lindberg Automobile Center (No relation to Charles A. Lindbergh of the Spirit of St. Louis fame), we were greeted by a very nice couple that owned and were keeping watch over the place. They had every answer ready, and were rightfully proud of their compact but fascinating automotive collection.

Built by Detroit native and clothing designer Andy DiDia, it took seven years, from 1953 to 1960, to finish the car. Two engines are listed as powerplants; I assume the present 427 came later. Originally the car cost $153,647.29 to create; a price of $1,500,000 is estimated for today. It rides on a 125-inch wheelbase, about the length of two Smart Cars' wheelbases. The car was so long, I had to tilt it in the crop box to try to get it to properly fit the page. Maybe the tilt gives the car somewhat of a "Batman"-esque feel, relative to the time period that Bobby Darin drove the car to the Academy Awards; the car was also used in several movies.

The DiDia 150 is hand-fashioned from soft aluminum, has thermostatically-controlled air conditioning, hidden headlights, tail lights that swivel as the car turns a corner, glass windows on hinges, and rust-colored seats, each with an ash tray, cigarette lighter, and radio speaker. No word on cup holders.

Best I can tell, the oversize levers on the dash control the heater, defrost, and air conditioning systems. It's also nice to see the flat-bottomed steering wheel, many years ahead of the time when VW GTIs and others made them almost commonplace.

Bobby Darin (Walden Robert [Bobby] Cassotto) was born in The Bronx on May 14, 1936, and at 8, he heard a doctor tell his mother that he may not live past 16 due to heart damage caused by rheumatic fever. He went on to record such hits as "Splish Splash", "Dream Lover", and "Mack The Knife", which won him the 1960 Grammy. He was nominated for an Academy Award in 1963 for his portrayal of a shell-shocked soldier in "Captain Newman, M.D.". His record company, TM Music/Trio, launched Wayne Newton and others, and Bobby was with Robert Kennedy in 1968 when he was killed at the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles. Bobby went into seclusion for about a year after that event. In 1972, he had a TV variety show called "The Bobby Darin Amusement Company" that he hosted until his sudden death. He was not buried; he gave his body to UCLA for medical research.

In 1970, Mr. Darin donated the DiDia 150 to the Museum of Transportation. There is a special glass case beside the car with his photo, autograph, and other memorabilia.The car was restored by Manns Auto Body in Festus, Missouri, just previous to display. The only other car in the Museum that literally made me gasp was their working Chrysler Turbine Car, the only running Turbine Car on public display. Jay Leno has offered to buy the Chrysler, but has not been successful yet. The owners start it every two weeks, but my hints at hearing the car run were moot. Mr. Darin passed in 1973, after surgery to correct heart problems brought on by blood poisoning. He was 37.

--That Car Guy

Thanks to Amazon for letting me "appropriate" the Bobby Darin album cover.

2009 Chevrolet Cobalt

by That Car Guy

"I tell ya, I'm all right now, but last week I was in rough shape, ya know! Are you kiddin'? I got the worst car in the world! Why just once, I'd like to see somebody pass me without pointing to one of my tires. No matter what lane I'm in, it ends in 500 feet. Ya know, the other day, I bought the perfect second car... a tow truck. I mean, every Sunday, I take my family out for a push! I tell ya, I get no respect... no respect at all".

Thank you, Rodney Dangerfield, my hero. He was one of the few comedians to make fun of himself or his fictional family, which made his humor so special to me. I sort of met him one time; he did a performance at The Grand Ole Opry House in Nashville, and we were so exhausted from laughing that we could barely talk on the way home. As his encore, he took questions from the audience, and I was lucky for him to hear and respond to mine. Instantly forgettable for him, but I'll remember that moment forever!

When we talk about a car getting little or no respect, next to the Trabant, the Chevy Cobalt (And its lesser-known twin, the Pontiac G5) usually comes up. Why does this happen? Is the Cobalt deserving of the bad rap? Does it spend so much time on a service rack that it has more miles on it vertically than horizontally? I thought maybe it was time to mosey on down to the local Chevrolet dealer and try to find out.

But first, so that I don't look any dumber than I am, off to the official Chevrolet web site, explore what they have to say about the Cobalt, then "build" one or two. I am immediately impressed that there is no price difference between the 2-door and 4-door models! Prices start at $16,330 for a base LS to $24,095 for the SS. Personal options and accessories, like the Sport Pedals and Performance Air Intake, will cost you more. You may also want to buy the $75 Spare Tire option, otherwise you'll look silly standing there with the standard can of inflatable tire repair stuff the next time you have a blow-out. Available in either a base Cobalt LS, Cobalt 1LT, Cobalt 2LT, or as the Turbocharged Cobalt SS, all in four doors or two, it's now time to personalize "MY" Cobalt.

Introduced in 2004 as a 2005 model, the car is built on GM's Delta platform, which also underpins the Chevy HHR (Heritage High Roof), Saturn Ion, Saturn (Opel) Astra, and Daewoo Lacetti. It has electric power steering that I drove in an HHR, and that experience takes a bit of getting used to. Not good, not bad, just... different. The standard 2.2-litre I-4 ECOTEC tech puts out 155 horsepower, same as a 2001 Miata, and the Cobalt SS turbocharged and intercooled 2.0-litre I-4 ECOTEC literally screams with 260 horses!

The 2009 Chevy Cobalt print brochure says, "Cobalt comes with a great selection of interior fabrics and colors." What? According to the same brochure, only gray and ebony are offered, and they are both just lighter shades of black. There are gray cloth, gray Sport Cloth, gray leather, ebony Sport Cloth, and ebony leather choices. That's all, folks, unless you go with the Cobalt SS. The LT1 and higher models have power windows (No more busted knuckles, Nathan!), power door locks, power mirrors, and Sport Cloth seats. The LT2 adds cruise control, 16-inch wheels, ABS, a 4-speed automatic tranny, and remote start. The SS (Super Sport) is discussed shortly.

The Cobalt dash is as hard and hollow as today's plastics can make it, and the one-piece plastic door panels follow suit, with either a cloth or vinyl insert (Matching the seats) swathing your elbow in the lap of luxury, and reminding me of Monzas and Chevettes of 30+ years ago. There ain't no door pull handles, your fingers grab a cup on the unforgiving door panel, and the poor folks back in Coach Class have it even tougher... virtually no arm rest at all and again, rock-hard panels. Maybe this car should include a First-Aid Kit for bruises. "Ooh, my arm, it's broken!"

The LS Coupe I sat in had two remote control outside mirrors, both cable-operated, with a rubbery feeling of uncertainty. There is no way the driver could safely, if at all, reach over and adjust the passenger's mirror while driving. I've seen a lot of Cobalts with a Sport Appearance Package for the outside that sells you sportier bumpers, lower rocker moldings, 17-inch wheels, low profile tires, a chrome exhaust tip, that rear spoiler, and fog lights.

I think a paragraph or two has to be dedicated to the Cobalt SS. If somebody truly wants a sleeper, this is your car, in two doors or four this year. In addition to the 105 extra ponies, you get stability control, ABS with Brembos up front, Performance Handling Suspension, stainless steel exhaust with chrome tip, 18-inch wheels, something in the order of a body kit including a spoiler and fog lights, and a 228-Watt, seven-speaker Pioneer sound system.

Omit the spoiler (Available on all Cobalts), and it'll take practiced eyes to separate this from the other trim levels. But at least the seats are unique, offering Premium Cloth with an "SS" logo and color combinations of ebony/gray, ebony/red, and ebony/ebony. Sorry, no ebony/ivory option; Paul & Stevie will be disappointed! Chevy is claiming 0-60 in 5.7 seconds; Car and Driver got a very respectable stopping distance of 70-0 in 160 feet with the SS. Impressive, though I believe safety features such as better brakes should be available all across the car line, not just for a select model or two. What's next... "Seat Belts of the Rich & Famous" ?

Then there's the Cobalt XFE (eXtra Fuel Economy). Introduced in April, 2008, just in time for $4.00 a gallon gas, this model comes with a recalibrated engine (Producing the same 155 hp), 15-inch reduced-resistance tires, and a higher top gear in the required manual transmission. This option is available only on the base LS and slightly higher 1LT Trim levels. It's my guess you can't get the 2LT because the automatic transmission can't achieve the lofty 25 City/36 Highway MPG that Chevy says you'll get, raising you above the mileages of the Aveo5 and Honda Fit.

And let me say some great things about the standard Driver Information System on the Cobalt!  At the touch of a switch on the steering wheel, 15 different pieces of vehicle and temperature info are at hand, including air pressures for each tire. The one item that really impressed me was the "Vehicle Average Speed" readout. Teenagers, beware. Also, the hood and trunk lid were held up by struts, not prop rods or springs. At least by buying this car new, you won't find your wife's dress in the trunk.

If anybody reads my bio here, they'll see that I worked at the Nissan plant in Tennessee when it opened. NMMC had a Vehicle Evaluation System (VES) that recorded and scored cars based on quality demerits... the more flaws, the higher the score, like in my golf game (I shudda yelled '2'!). So, walking around the outside of this car raised red flags and points everywhere. Body panel gaps were inconsistent, the front bumper stuck out approximately 3/16ths of an inch from the fender (But we were able to push it back in a bit), and every new Cobalt I saw on the lot had the trunk corner raised on the driver's side higher than the passenger's. On all the metallic paint cars, the bumpers looked like they had been sprayed using another color chart... the discrepancy is even visible in the official brochure! The plant manager should be fired for accepting this rubbish from a supplier unless they were made in-house... then he should still be fired.

If this car had been named the 2009 Nighthawk, it would have been right at home. Styling is subjective, and I saw cues dating back to 1977, like the Coupe's rear side windows. Build quality was similar, as I almost cut my finger on a metal burr inside of the totally unfinished trunk lid's rough edge. The door window sashes (Frames) are too wide to be classy and too thin to be "limousine" style - I think they just look cheap. The headlights are too big, the rump is too high. And I can't understand the optional second tachometer/boost gauge, mounted on the A-pillar, available on the Cobalt SS. All Cobalts have a speedometer, tachometer, and fuel meter. If they are going to add some more gauges, what about oil pressure and engine temp?

I just couldn't drive this coupe. I wanted out and away from it; too many bad car memories were evoked by this thing. And since I had no intention of buying one, why waste the time and fuel... I was there to learn about the Cobalt, to get a brochure, and I had done what I came for. Sadly, I like the last generation of Cavaliers better than this model. Why, when you buy a car like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh? Oh, it looks good on you, though!

I really, really wanted to see and say more nice things about the Cobalt, but I found the same attitude of "Build it cheap, and they'll trade up later" philosophy that got them where they are today. And until they design and build a better car, I just don't have much sympathy for them. Poor design and sloppy craftsmanship do not a good car make.

But there's hope on the horizon. Within the year, we should see the (Optional) 1.4-litre, 140-horsepower turbocharged Chevy Cruze start to replace the Cobalt. However, the challenge is just beginning... it will be built on the new Delta II platform at the same Lordstown, Ohio, plant that makes the Cobalt (And the Vega). I hope build quality and attention to details are improved. And can you puhleeze! take those little GM badges off of the cars? Then maybe... just maybe... you'll get a little more respect.

--That Car Guy (Chuck)

I took the picture of Rodney Dangerfield on October 25, 1981, at the Grand Ole Opry House from the "No Respect" seating section, of course. Google Images supplied the Cobalt SS dash shot. Other photos are from Wikipedia.

1972 Harley-Davidson 125cc Rapido

by That Car Guy

Ah, our first street-legal vehicle... that life-changing moment when freedom from family finally becomes possible. In 1971 Tennessee, it could happen when you were at least 14 years old, got your parents' signatures, had a motor-driven cycle with 5 brake horsepower or less, could see, paid $6, and rode within a 7-mile radius of your home during daytime hours. 

I had the luxury of learning to drive a tractor at 6, a car around 8, all on our farm. We had bicycles, a mini-bike, and a go-kart, so going to a slightly larger motorbike was not a problem. But, unfortunately, the choice of one was. Honda was breaking ground with its fantastic line of bikes, and I saw the reliability and features of them through my friends. I wanted a blue 1972 Honda CL100, a dual-purpose on/off-road bike that sadly is not made any more. However, my father was writing the check, and he wanted  *American* - a Harley-Davidson.

Anything sold by Harley-Davidson under 500cc was built by Aermacchi in Italy, but he could not grasp that concept because it had "Harley-Davidson" written on it. He grew up in The Great Depression, was still fighting World War II, and simply would not give his money to the Japanese, though the only two new cars he ever bought were German VW Beetles - in fact, he bought the third VW ever sold in Nashville. We had a great family friend, the late Bill Abernathy, who had just purchased the first 1972 model Harley-Davidson (H-D) Electra-Glide 1200 sold in Tennessee, so it was deemed by the powers that be that I would have the first 1972 H-D 125cc Rapido sold here (Do we see a pattern forming?).

It was Saturday, September 4, 1971, that we went to Boswell's Harley-Davidson in Nashville and got the bike. Mr. Abernathy loaned us his bike trailer (Oh, I forgot to mention that he was an officer in the Al Menah Shrine in Nashville) to bring it home. At $604.72, including tax, two optional mirrors, and a  legally-required crash bar, the Rapido was a bit pricey. The CL100 I wanted was available around $500, but again, I had to forego blinkers, decent lighting, underseat storage, reliability, color choice, peer acceptance, and 4-stroke engine mechanicalisms due to patriotisms. The 2-stroke Rapido's gas tank cap had a built-in cup to measure oil for every gallon of gas bought. Such an unnecessary hassle. I think the dealer did not hook the battery up correctly, as the magneto poorly powered everything on the bike... lights, horn, etc, at different engine rpm. The horn would change tempo and volume simply by revving the engine, the lights would dim and brighten... I never found any factory-related use for the tiny 6 volt battery.

Most H-D dealers would like to forget these bikes... both then and especially now. A few months after getting the bike, I perused the accessories catalog and found a luggage rack and tool kit for the Rapido. At first they said these items did not exist, but after I pointed them out in the fine print, he gladly ordered them. The tool kit came in very handy... the single spark plug would often foul, leaving the bike immediately dead wherever that happened, day or night. A bud and I fashioned trouble lights on our bikes, which were not only life savers at night, but also the only use I ever got out of the exposed battery. 

If I seem ungrateful about the bike, I don't mean to be. But for the same money, we could have had such a nicer motorcycle. Once on a trail ride, the carburetor literally fell apart. Yay tool kit! The Rapido was a 4-speed, most all others had 5. Less than a year after getting the bike, the once-lustrous metallic red paint turned pink, and the Harley-Davidson cans of touch-up paint were horrible, not even close to the original color. Oh, and though the bike was dual-purpose, my father and Mr. Abernathy deemed that it should have the optional lower front fender and windshield for road use. Shall we say "Dork-cycle", and beyond my control.

The Rapido ran by a single-cylinder, 2-stroke engine displacing 123.15 cc, true horsepower unknown to me. Maybe the only clever thing on the bike was a rear wheel hub with two sprockets... one for street, the larger for trail. Just loosen the back wheel, slip it forward, and replace the chain onto the larger sprocket for getting muddy. It sat 30.5 inches off the ground, cleared Mother Earth by 6.3 inches, held 2.38 gallons on gas, and weighed 211.5 pounds. I remember the bike as being very smooth and quiet, but the brakes would disappear at the first sign of a wet road. Not a reassuring feeling at all.

Some things on the Rapido were backwards... shifter, shift pattern, brake pedal, kick starter, all were on the opposite side and/or function compared to every Honda, Kawasaki, Suzuki, and Yamaha made then. Whenever anybody else rode the bike, they hated it because the brake pedal was on the wrong side, causing them to shift up rather than slow down. The next model year, 1973, all of this was corrected... the new bike even had blinkers! But that came too late for this nice little motorcycle.

In August, 1972, a motley crew of the four of us (Mr. Abernathy, me, David, and Kevin, shown here), packed the three small bikes into the back of Mr. Abernathy's new Chevy pickup, and the Electra-Glide followed on a trailer. I don't remember where the luggage went. We drove four hours east to The Great Smoky Mountains National Park and had a great weekend, limited license legalities aside. The two Harleys performed well; the Kawasaki died from a clogged exhaust, and Kevin immediately went broke, spending all of his money on a "Lamp of China"of unknown origin. He also liked to order his eggs cooked "medium".

If you ever see The Smokies, please use a bike, convertible, or something with a sunroof. Nothing else on wheels can give you the proper view.

We traded the Rapido in December, 1972, for a new black 1973 H-D SS-350 (Formally called the Sprint), identical to the cop bikes in the James Bond film "Live And Let Die". The SS-350 was another Italian-made disaster; the vibration from the single-cylinder "thumper" engine, as it was called, cracked the license plate into several pieces in less than six months. But I was 16 soon anyway, and we sold the bike for cash to go towards my first car... a red 1972 Chevy Vega, less than a year old. 

So even though I consider the Aermacchi Harley-Davidsons to be an epic fail, why do I lust for this bike? Well, simply because it brought me my first feeling of freedom in rural Middle Tennessee. It got me off the farm and to my friends that lived relatively far (Five miles) away. The purchase price and serial number have stuck in my head for 38 years... 7A10333H2 was stamped on the frame. I would doubt that this bike still exists, but you never know. This time last year, I saw where somebody was restoring a similar bike. I emailed them and said I had an original Owner's Manual to their bike, and they were welcome to it if they wanted it... but no reply ever came.

I can't believe the sales brochure for the bike exists after all these years! Somewhere in the living room is the Owner's Manual. Our family took very few pictures through the years, yet the first one here is me at 15 on the bike in 1972. Mr. Abernathy passed in 1981. I still see David and his family every Friday night; his son Daniel helped me with this post. Kevin is probably enjoying his "Lamp of China" somewhere.

--That Car Guy (Chuck)

The James Bond Cars

by That Car Guy on January __, 2009

We all lust after cars we can't have... but how about wanting cars that don't exist? Well, OK, maybe some of these do, but when is the last time you operated an oil slick or machine gun from your driver's seat? Had pontoon skis pop out of your rocker panels? Said "Can you swim", and drove off the end of a dock?  Lost an unwanted passenger via ejector seat? Of course, we all know somebody that has all of these "Usual refinements" and more, and he's been around for quite some time now.

In 1944, Ian Fleming (1908-1964), at his estate in Jamaica named Goldeneye, began writing thirteen novels about a fictional secret agent named after orinthologist James Bond, who wrote "Birds of The West Indies". Of course, the movies vary greatly from the books, and we all have our favorite 007 film and actor.  EON Productions, who made all the Bond films, is an acronym meaning "Everything Or Nothing", as Albert R. "Cubby" Broccoli (1909-1996) literally bet the farm on "Dr. No" in 1961, released in 1962. His family, in Italy, crossed cauliflower and rabe to make the vegetable that bears their name.

This mini car/vehicle/aircraft/submarine/moon buggy collection madness I started began in March of 2008 when my buddy here, Shawn, said that Walgreens was selling James Bond cars made by Corgi. Those names are well known and respected, of course, so I instantly knew the marriage would be a good one. I was not disappointed. I can't believe that some of these cars, perhaps the finest of the collection, sold for as little as $7. The Lotus Esprit may be the best of the bunch as far as both quality and quantity of its operating features. One button releases propellers, fins, and wings for underwater navigation, while another fires rockets to get rid of an uninvited guest. The tiny DB5 offers a working ejector seat ("You're joking, 'Q'?"), rear metal bulletproof screen, and pop-out front machine guns and battering rams. Sorry, no nail ejectors.

Some of these vehicles do little but sit and look cool, like the bronze  Lotus from "For Your Eyes Only". There is a wrecked Citroen 2CV from that same film available, but I found the undamaged one first, and could not justify buying both of them.  Maybe I'll "wreck" this one.  Also, Auric Goldfinger's 1937 Rolls-Royce 111 SEDANCE  De VILLE sits proudly in finely-detailed glory with Odd Job tipping his bowler hat to a lady.  The 1974 AMC Matador reveals its copper hue in stationary repose. In the "For What It's Worth" department, a helicopter has been featured in every Bond film.

Online, these things just keep popping up... but I have to stop somewhere, as my bank account pales compared to Willard Whyte's. Seems the more obscure the car is, the more pricey it becomes. For example, the Ford Thunderbird from "Goldfinger" costs around $50 with shipping, though I'd really like to have the black Lincoln Continental that took the unfortunate Mr. Solo to his pressing engagement. Please look close in the movie as the Lincoln is carried to the crusher and you'll see there's no engine in it, and maybe not even a firewall! The Corgi cars are 1:36 scale, while the cars from Universal Hobbies are a smaller 1:43 scale. A few more here are an unknown scale.

I thought about listing them individually, but hoped it would be more fun if you tried to name each one and the film(s) it is from. They are obviously in no particular order, and yes, one is upside down, somewhat true to its place in movie history. Another is supposed to be on two wheels. The oak shelf unit is put together without screws except for the wall-mounting hardware. If there are any questions about any of the models, please feel free to ask, or send an email to Miss Moneypenny.

The most famous James Bond car of all has got to be the tricked-out Aston Martin DB5, which has made its way into five of the twenty-two Bond features so far. The films and the car have gone together so well that they each helped make the other the successes that they are today.  It is equipped with: revolving license plates valid in all countries;  bullet-proof windscreen, side windows, and rear window; an audio-visual display tied to a magnetic homing device with a range of 150 miles; armrest controls for left- and right-front fender machine guns, a smoke screen, an oil slick, and rear bulletproof metal screen; retractable tire shredders; passenger ejector seat; and 3-point nail ejectors. The nails were cut from the films because they might have given kids the wrong kind of inspirations. All this, and still room in the boot for a jet pack.

The James Bond films are the most successful franchise in movie history. Each new story (And car chase) faces the challenge of meeting and exceeding the one before. Though The Cold War ended some time ago, EON Productions, now guided by Cubby's daughter Barbara Broccoli, has faced this challenge with great success.  And with the help of Aston Martin and other marques, our favorite secret agent on Her Majesty's Secret Service will no doubt thrill us for some time to come. James Bond will return.

"The James Bond Films" and "The Complete James Bond Movie Encyclopedia", both by Steven Jay Rubin, were the sources of technical and other information for my blabber.

--That Car Guy (Chuck)